Today has been a day. No different than any other day...pushing, shoving, yelling, me yelling..part of our daily routine. However today, I threatened to go on vacation for a week without them and see how smoothly their days go when I'm not here. Not my finest hour. I was just beyond frustration. Repeating myself, over-using the phrase "stop that", was more than I could handle on just one cup of coffee.
Later, I just sat in the bathtub trying to convince myself to be happy enough to enjoy dinner with my parents, siblings and niece and nephews(which I did), and cried. I'm exhausted and tired of feeling like a grouchy mom. The boy-ness in this house drowns me. I love all the things that make my boys, boys. Most of the time. Except for today. And today I cried. I failed.
As usual, when I see my sister's family, I end up with one of her angels and she takes one of mine. Cousin sleepovers are all the rage, you know. Sam and my nephew pulled out our art box and began drawing. Sam is working on shadowing(how cute is my little artist!). I watched for awhile then laid on the floor and picked up my own paper and pencil. We giggled as Sam told his "big stories" and Sam even asked if I would sign my work of art for him, as he did the same for me.
Then it was late. Bedtime tuck-ins, kisses, hugs, smiles. Sam told his cousin in response to I don't even know what; "That is one thing about my mom, she's always funny!" Who knew I was funny? Sammy did. Not grouchy, mean or ridiculous, I'm funny. Thanks for reminding me Sam. I haven't seen 'that mom' through my guilt, I'm glad you do.
Your Hard is Hard (The Pandemic Version)
4 years ago
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