Monday, January 24, 2011

Roll With It

The boys are working on pinewood derby cars for Cub Scouts. They had a trial run tonight, and of course two out of three of our boys had their wheels fall off half way down the track. Embarrassing! I could feel their anguish. We allowed them to make the decisions for their cars. Partly out of frustration, since Jerry and I are obviously the most ridiculous parents who know nothing about building a car(sarcasm intended). Parental guidance is needed and the boys recognize it..now. More importantly because we want them to plan and execute this on their own. I don't find any entertainment in attending an event like this with a parent controlled and completed entry. Out of pity the Scout leaders handed me two new cars to start over. Poor Owen and Sam couldn't believe their grand designs didn't follow through.
I get that.
B.C.(before children) or before marriage for that matter, some women envision what it will be like to marry their prince, raise perfect-looking children, quit their full-time jobs to stay at home with said perfect children and live a blissful fairytale....happily ever after.
Then you are married and the first year is pure hell. How did this handsome creature have so many infuriating habits I never noticed? How did I become hardened and immune to his charm when I used to melt at just the sight of him? How did I have three boys who enjoy nothing more than getting dirty, catching frogs, shooting guns, wrestling and really, just being boys? Where were the pigtails with pink ribbons, pretty dresses, painted fingernails?
All of it, part of God's plan. Marriage was hard because it takes work. It takes effort to really know your spouse, to learn and appreciate all the idiosyncrasies and the balance they give us. Allowing God to be at the center instead of my own selfish desires was a challenge. I had three little boys because there is joy in the wild hearts that run around this house and encouraging challenge in their "living life full throttle" attitudes. I am raising the men who will someday lead their households. The households that will bring me daughter-in-laws and maybe even granddaughters! Motherhood isn't always pretty. It's a loud, frustrating, worry-filled adventure that brings laughter, dancing and love. God love. Love you didn't understand until you had children.
Our grand design for our lives doesn't always turn out how we planned. It looks bigger and better when you fall under the right guidance. My life and the future, secure-wheeled pinewood derby cars serve as proof.

1 comment:

Mark Luikart said...

You make us smile :) We have watched the whole process of you being single, married, then plus one, plus two and plus three, and how your life has changed. We miss being apart of it.....Thanks for sharing your heart

Mark and Brenda