Little boy, how are you so big? How is it you live life the same way you came into it? Hard.... Like you were letting me know from the onset, your drive and determination. You play hard. You fight with your brothers hard. You work hard in school. You are hard-headed(like your momma). You find it hard to let others know that you are sensitive. You sleep hard. Finding trouble is not hard..but most importantly, you love hard.

You are amazingly smart. You have the best cheeks for kissing. Ever since you were a baby you've had these perfectly round cheeks that a kiss just sinks into. Though you have a wild heart you are the most eager to please. Your favorite things are baseball, wrestling, animals, reading, the Wii, your friend Noah, your Grandma and .....me. That's not a vain self promotion, you and I have a unique chemistry. Someday one equally amazing woman(JK!!) will steal your affections from me. For now, I love that you call me 10 times when I away from you for two hours. I love that when I walk into the door you still run calling "Mommy!" and give me the biggest of hugs.

Your eyes are a gorgeous slate blue, I painted my living room to match. I was drawn to that swatch like I'm drawn to your eyes. You are so strong, not just in mind like I mentioned before but physically I cannot believe how your strength has multiplied over the years. I can no longer pick you up, but you can lift me off of the floor. You are nine years old and I am seeing glimpses of the man you will be. I am proud of you. I love you. I'm thankful that you, are you.

Happy Birthday my precious boy.

"If You Really Knew Me"

There's not much on TV that is inspirational or makes one feel led to make a change. I did find one program that does. On MTV, no less. "If You Really Knew Me". I started watching about three weeks ago with cautious optimism. The premise is this: Trained adults come into a High School and initiate a "Challenge Day". On this day cliques are broken down and students divide into small groups and share experiences..starting with the line "If you really knew me...".
I have not been able to watch without tears. You see the Homecoming Queen, the Goth Girl and the Band Geek describing what life is like at home, in school, their insecurities and struggles. You witness change in their expression, the epiphany that their seemingly outward, insurmountable differences are exactly the opposite. They are more alike than they are strangers.
The leaders describe people as icebergs, revealing only ten percent of who they are above the surface and below the other ninety percent that no one sees. The program is about exposing the other ninety percent, "being real". The students stand behind a line and leaders read different circumstances that kids face; divorce, abuse, loneliness etc. If the student is affected by the circumstance, they cross to the other side of the line. Large groups of students from every "clique" represented cross the line. Powerful. Again, barriers are broken.
The following day the kids are sent out in their school to spread the understanding they have begun to grasp. The initiative, boldness and passion by the students...again, powerful.
Ask any adult and not many will say "High School was the best time of my life!". Most of us, regardless of what social table we joined in the cafeteria, would admit that we only showed ten percent of that iceberg. I clung to having a boyfriend, because it made me feel beautiful and powerful-emotions I never experienced at home. I was a cheerleader because I was capable of doing it and allowed me to be noticed. I would rather have been singing a solo in the choir while displaying my artwork at the Spring Arts Show. I exuded a false confidence, masking my anxiety of making friends, analyzing every word I spoke and the hurt of losing friends to immature high school drama. Instead I built this tough exterior wall that didn't allow many to enter nor let me out.
Talking with friends about the show, we decided people should go to high school in their thirties. An age where people have figured out who they are and see themselves as valuable.
What if we could intercept students during their most vulnerable time in life? Lessen some the hurt and aggression.....
This movement has begun to prevent the increasing number of suicides and bullying taking place in schools. I recently observed an anti-bullying curriculum ran by teachers. I was very impressed by the openess of the students but as with most things there is a concern of cost of bringing it into one's own school district. I want this job. I've been blessed to work with high school-aged kids through church ministry and I loved it!! I miss it terribly. There is a myth that teenagers think adults are ridiculous and irrelevent. I've witnessed first hand, this is false. I'd love to be injected into the lives of teens in this new forum...we'll see what happens.
My favorite line from the latest episode ~"If someone is feeling lonely, it's not because there is a lack of people. It's because there is a lack of connection between those people."