Thursday, February 24, 2011

Proverbs 30:31 Favour is deceitful, beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
I'm struggling with this. I received a message from a friend today wanting to learn more about blogging. She is beginning a weight-loss journey with her goal being to run a 5K in August. I'm so excited for her! I will be sure to post a link when she's up and pun intended.
Jerry and I have decided recently ourselves to begin getting back into shape. He is so much better at it than I am. His willpower is amazing, mine not so much.
I would like to say that my goal is to be healthy and feel better, have more energy. It's not. My goal is to look good in my clothes. Vain, I know. Vanity is a tricky thing for me. I desire to be beautiful from the inside and I hope that I would be considered that way. However, every time I look into the mirror with my 35 year old eyes, I find myself mourning the youthful face I remember. I see wrinkles, the beginning of crows feet, enlarged pores. I recently discovered why I am dealing with acne issues in my 30's when I've never dealt with it diminishing estrogen. More proof I am aging. I don't find myself concerned with the numbers in my age, just the side effects. I meditate on verses on beauty and where true beauty's not helping! Fortunately, I can't afford the Botox and other facial procedures that would give me a quick fix and send me down a slippery slope in pursuit of perfection.
I'd like to blame my child bearing days but I can't. True, I didn't look this way before them but I didn't look like this after them either. I was motivated after their births to shed the pounds, get back into my jeans. The dilemma I am dealing with now is a result of immobility. Always moving with the busyness of life but never exercising. Eating on the go rather than planning and preparing meals as in the past is destroying my waistline.
I could blame society and media but I don't believe that a slender woman on a magazine cover is the reason I desire to be thin. I think as long as women have existed they have desired to be different than how God made them. Feeling inadequate in more ways than just the physical is a struggle I think all women share. Not understanding how truly valuable we are to our Creator, distorts our view of ourselves. So as I again start this journey, I am making more of an effort not to just commit that truth to memory, but in my soul.
I have started walking/running and calorie counting. I feel driven to succeed at this. I always do in the beginning, keeping that drive is the challenge. I'm looking forward to my friend's blog and the realness she will share in the tremendous amount of work it takes to be fit. She is already encouraging me by her willingness to share.
I won't reject any compliments I receive as I slim down, but truly I want to find more praise for who I am rather than what I look like.
Editing side note: After I posted this I got into my car and heard this-"51% of women said they would give up intimacy to be skinny..." I guess the other 49% were lying! lol

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