Husbands

Well Husband. Thank goodness there's only one! My husband is in the bush. In a far off land with no electricity, no cell service, not even a zip code. Have you ever heard of "God's Country"? That's it, a place only God can find. I've been there too, so I know. He's there having "guy time". Shooting waterfowl.
I was furious when he was planning his trip. It's not the first, won't be the last, no matter how I protest. I find it selfish to plan a vacation for one's self when we are in one of the busiest seasons of life, leaving all responsibilities on the other's shoulders to chase ducks. Selfish. That's right I'm annoyed with my husband. I LOVE MY HUSBAND. Right now though I am finding it tough to understand this husband/wife dynamic. There is this pressure, unwritten law that we have to be all things for our husbands: lover, nurturer, maid, chef, encourager. They work to provide for our family, which is a pressure they carry, so we are supposed to understand that they "need" their guy time to release. We need to show respect, reverence them, allow them to lead.
I know what the Bible says: Wives submit to your husbands, Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church...that I get.
But here in the realness of everyday life(and not just in our home, it's widespread) Husbands love their wives but not always Christlike(No, wives aren't blamesless but this isn't about us, haha). They seem clueless as to who we are and what we need. Women want love in action, not just words, touches and gifts(which aren't bad, very nice actually). I don't need and emotional repair man, just an ear sometimes. I need to be seen in my gray and even sometimes bright red world even though his lenses are black and white. Not only seen but seen and not automatically stared at blankly as a rambling phsycotic.
While he's gone, I realize how much I really do need him. He is safety to me and balance. I do miss him. However realizing how much I need him just makes me more angry that he left, willingly. He calls, he misses us terribly, I believe him, truly. When he tells me about the adventure of the day- I completely zone out, I don't care. I'm mad. He'll come home and genuinely love on us tell us how much he missed us. And I'll be mad. He gets a pass. I'm mad.