Breathing

"God often allows His own provision to cease in order to teach us that all provision comes from Him and not from the intermediate source that He provides."~Pastor Paul Richardson, West Ridge Church, Georgia.
You may have to read and re-read this quote for it to make sense(and read 1Kings 17:8-16)....I only had to read it once. God sent Elijah to drought stricken Zarephath to stay with a widow and her son. Elijah asked her for water and cake. She replied that she had only enough for her and her son and then they would die. But Elijah told her to get the cake for him first and then for her and her son. "For thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth"17:14. Just a side note, If I only had enough food in the kitchen to feed my children one more time I don't know if I would feed the stranger first. However, she did and her meal nor oil never ran out.....it's not raining yet. This was the premise and inspiration of the message...
Drought. Promises. Miracles.
I have to fill in some missing pieces that made this so profoundly relevant to me. I was "running away" from Ohio weather to (supposedly) warm and sunny Georgia, where they are literally experiencing a drought. And you guessed it! The whole time I was there is was cool, gloomy and RAINING!! The past year has been a heavy spiritual trial for Jer and I and some of our dearest friends, who I was there to visit. I was so excited to step into their new world and see them "at home". Besides their literal home being beautiful, they have exciting prospects in the works and found an incredible local church,which I also visited. I didn't have a lot of expectations. First time visits to churches are typically uneventful. Filled with awkwardness and distraction from the message due to one's preoccupation with curiosity. Not this church. Not for me. Not familiar with their worship songs allowed me to meditate on the words being sung to my God. The rain poured from my eyes and outside the windows. The soil in my dry, broken heart was moistened. I was breathing, in church no less. If you follow this blog you'll understand. Following worship the pastor taught from the fore mentioned passage. He spoke of the droughts people suffer, mine-"a drought in spirit" and how "it hadn't rained in soo long!" Continuously wiping rain drops from my cheeks and hearing them all around me was no irony. It was God. Reminding me "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee(Heb 13:5c)". After the service, Heidi asked if I was ok, and I told her "I'm good, I just haven't been able to breathe like that in church for soooo long." The fact was, I was lightened, lifted and reunited.....but that's a lot to express when it's raining. I was breathing. I know one service is not the rain that I'm praying for but I will take these scattered showers until it does.......it's not raining yet.............but it will.
(another non-coincidence, read the rest of 1Kings 17. the widow's son falls seriously ill and "there was no breath left in him". Elijah cries out to God and the Lord hears him and the boy is "revived"~totally read that 2 days after I made the breathing comment)