Who I really am

I have had quite a few people tell me how inspired and taken they are by my blog. I think that is wonderful. It tickles me that people find encouragement here and hope they continue to. But I hope I haven't been deceiving you. You see, these are the random and inter-most thoughts I have when I am all alone, I'm a dreamer by design so my mind is constantly reeling. At the end of the day I mentally gather them up and spew them out. I feel like all of these thoughts, although 100% genuine may have made me seem to good to be true.
My biggest struggle is taking all my dreams and desires of my heart and putting them into action. Fear. I am a somewhat guarded person. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm not, as I have said before, the life of the party. Some one's first impression of me would probably be that I am quiet, to a stranger of course. Friendships have to come naturally for me, by circumstance and likeness. Trust is hard for me, but once your in...your in. I love my friends.
I do work very hard at being a mom. But like everyone else there are times of impatience, anger and weariness. I wish someone would have been that honest with me when all 3 of my children were 3 years old and younger. The women who "mentored" me, loving and good intentioned, made me feel like everything was my fault. If the kid threw a fit in Wal-Mart, it was because I allowed it to happen at home. If he was shy around strangers, it was because I didn't teach him that when an adult speaks to him, he should say "hello". If he doesn't address adults as "Miss" "Mr." etc. I wasn't teaching him respect. And are you ready for this: you should never have to raise your voice if you are positioning yourself as the authority in their lives. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I, by no means think I have this "mommy thing" mastered but I do believe that what my kids need to see in me is realness. That I'm not perfect but I can ask for forgiveness, that their behavior may not always be pleasing but I can forgive. That mommy isn't Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart but I love investing in my family and home. And I may not always agree with Daddy but I still love him and kiss him everyday when he comes home and dance w/o music when he hugs me. So to all my misguided mentors, I forgive you. And friends, I hope this will be encouraging for you: Sometimes, kids just act like kids and your job is to direct them in the path of righteousness.(and that doesn't mean they need a spanking EVERY time!)
I was just telling a friend yesterday, more often than not, I blame my parents for all of my character flaws. They weren't perfect parents but I'm sure they thought they were doing their best. I wasn't always protected and there are consequences to that. However, I found The Perfect Parent and He has redeemed me. I don't have to fall into these old patterns unless I choose to. I was given new life and try my best to live it, I fail, but I'm forgiven and lifted back up.
My husband is my best friend. You may not have gathered that from me. We are complete opposite in almost every way.......except for the ways that count. We disagree about the little things, but we're together. Not just physically.....we're really together. He's an incredible Daddy and he loves me even when I'm unlovable.
I love my boys. I am so proud of them and love watching them grow. They are so unique and peculiar. Creative and bright in different ways. I love teaching, nurturing, and shaping them into the men they will become. But I HATE SNOW DAYS! We are approaching snow day #4+ a weekend tomorrow. A friend of mine informed me that with the holidays, MLK Day, In-service and snow days our kids have only been in school 10 out of the past 40 days. Ewww! Once your kids are in school this whole new world opens up to you...without diapers, bottles, sippy cups, playdates. Mommy can actually have playdates and clean her house and even exercise her creative bones. You love to see them come home but you don't cry when they leave!
There is some guilt in admitting that I have become quite accustomed to this routine, a little selfish. Their intrusion has exhausted every fun activity I can think of to do indoors. Normalcy needs to re-invade the Quillin household in the form of a school bus and teachers.
To sum it up, everything you have read has been genuine and with these added tid bits I hope you can see a little more of who I really am. Yet not abandon my blog,haha.

• I'm a dreamer who fears
• I'm guarded but a true friend
• I'm a mom who makes mistakes
• I've been given bad advice and New Life
• I love my husband
• I'm a "nester"who enjoys the freedom of flying
• I love sleeping in but have 3 early risers
• I'm working everyday toward living simply but make things complicated.