"Baby" Blessings

Today put blessings into perspective. I went to a funeral for my cousin Shane, who passed way too soon, 31, in a horrible way: unexpected, brutal, accidentally at someone else's hand. I haven't seen him in years because he and his family moved to Texas when I was a kid. So not to sound disconnected but I was there for my Aunt who has a tender residence in my memory. He was buried here though, next to his dad, my father's brother who also died too soon, cancer, two years ago. When I saw my Aunt during calling hours, she was keeping it together and I thought she must have reached that point when no more tears will come. But today, as the reality of her "baby" being laid to rest hit her in the face, as bright as the sun shone, she could barely stand and cried uncontrollably..Her pain tore my heart to pieces. I have 3 boys and the excruciating thought of losing one of them before I am called to be with my Father, is unimaginable. I could only feel a percentage of the loss, hurt, disgust and tragedy falling from her eyes.

As I prayed for her, I felt this overwhelming sense, you know, it starts in your stomach and works toward your throat, of thankfulness for my family. At the viewing my Aunt told me how beautiful my boys were and she said "baby", hold them tight while their young and you can protect them...one day you won't be able to". She is the kind of Aunt that you love when she calls you baby. She's lived in the south her whole life and when she says "baby" with that involuntary drawl, it is the sweetest term of endearment one can hear. With her words and God stirring my heart I was thankful for today, right now, I have my boys: healthy, rambunctious, alive. My husband who never met Shane, holding on to me so tight as I began to cry because he knew where my mind had landed. He knows me even when I'm unrecognizeable to myself.

Three years ago my Aunt would never have thought her family would go from 5 to just 3. I'm sure if she did, she would have spent that time differently and that is what this loss has challenged me to do "not boast for tomorrow". Be thankful for the blessings in front of me....today. My "Babe" and my "babies".