Simplicity

I am a new blogger. I am a thinker and sometimes I just have to say (or write) those thoughts out loud to give my wonderful husband's ear a rest.
Everything is so busy all the time, for everyone I know. I just have this overwhelming need for simplicity in my life. I have a great life, husband and children. But with that great life comes schedules that you don't create and time that you don't control. One thing I now know is that every moment we have at home is a precious one. I sat at my dinner table tonight and looked at my kids and how fast they are growing and even though I've always stayed home with them I think " Where was I when they grew up?" I know they still need me and it's not like their going to college..........yet but they have started school and have lives that I'm not part of 8 hours a day. I take pride that we have raised them to be independent thinkers but it's tough to watch them take steps toward who they will become and you are helpless to slow it down. This is not a complaint, just an observation that when someone says "they grow up so fast" they mean that literally.
Finding my own independence again has been both a struggle and exciting. I've started my own business, making purses and that is very challenging and rewarding, a great creative outlet. I am in the interview process of volunteering for BBBS, something I've always wanted to do, I am excited to begin mentoring.
I don't want to be the person whose life begins when their kids move out, however there is some "mommy guilt" which I know, logically, is unwarranted but once you have kids, a large portion of your time is invested in them, and doing something for yourself feels selfish. I hope that my kids will view me as strong, giving and daring-not self centered.
I want to get back to the girl I was 10 years ago who was outgoing and social. I feel she has gotten lost in our own home and she is making a comeback, my husband will enjoy seeing her again. I love that I have more individual time with him now-he is my balance.