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Today is my Birthday(well technically it ended 8 min ago)

That's right. Today I turned 33. Which I had to ask my husband how old I was going to be, as I always do. Time goes to fast. A cliche', I know, but I feel like I was 20 yesterday. However, one wonderful marriage, three babies with bottles, diapers, blankies, preschool, kindergarten, grade school, doctors and dentist appointments, baseball, wrestling and one football season later, here I am...33. I can't remember really celebrating turning 23, 24, 25 etc. Instead of numbers I look back and count my age in moments. I was a party girl. I met my husband. He asked me to marry him. We had a beautiful wedding. I met my Heavenly Father We bought our first house. We found out we were expecting. We had a beloved baby boy. We gushed. He walked. We sold our first house. Bought our second house. We were expecting again. Another precious boy. He wore us out. We were given the blessing of and unexpected pregnancy. Yet another incredible boy...(how is it possible he is 5?) All of those moments add up to 30.

My firstborn started Kindergarten. We gushed again. Then my middle child started Kindergarten. I embark on a journey to own and operate my own business. We sold our second house. Downsized. Simplified. Bought our third house. Celebrated our 10 year Anniversary(yea!). We experience a spiritual crisis. Holding Fast. Oldest two children enter 3rd and 1st grade. Our baby begins Preschool. Those moments bring me here. 33. unbelievable.

I am so thankful for all my moments even if they do make me 33 years old according to the calendar. I am married to my best friend. I was reading an article about Dr. Phil the other day and he made the comment about his wife "If I wasn't married to her, I'd search the world high and low to find her". What a beautiful way to sum up your love for your spouse. So I'm stealing it and making it my own...."Babe if I weren't married to you, I would never settle for less than you and would wait for my prince to find his "princess"."

The only moment I have yet to fully experience is who is Betty? She is strong willed yet a little of an introvert. She is independent yet needy. She is a hard worker yet mostly unpaid. She loves her husband and kids hard but she is more than a wife and a mother. She is a sinner but she is forgiven......those things I know. But she used to be fun, social and always creating or dreaming. That girl needs to resurface....make a comeback. There have been so many we's and they's(that I wouldn't change) at the center of my focus, I have lost her or at least she's wearing a disguise.

So, Happy Birthday to me. I can't wait to discover all the moments that make me 34.

Move over Scrooge!!

Lately I have been overly pessimistic. I usually am a little on the pessimist side but I like to call myself a realist....sounds a little less pessimistic doesn't it? Any how, lately I have just noticed myself saying "I hate..."this or that way too often. Everyone and everything seem to annoy me. Well not everyone, but close. I go through these spells every so often and when I do, I look in the mirror and actually look worse....dark circles more pronounced, crows feet deepening by the second, laugh lines that are no longer funny. Then one day it will just hit me like a brick.." Hey, your only 32 years old. You may be imperfect but you are FORGIVEN! You have a great family and your chasing the dream of owning a successful business that you built from the ground up....Snap out of it!"

So at least for today that is what I'm doing, snapping out of it, and listing the things that I love.

I love my forgiving God

I love my husband.

I love my 3 boys

I love my little house

I love making something old, new again.

I love that I decorate my Christmas tree in black and it's beautiful

I love that I make things that make people smile

I love to watch my boys imitate their daddy

I love that Owen inherited my insane need for order(it's cute when your a kid!)

I love my friends

I love that my sister is my best friend

I love going for walks when it's cold

I love looking at the boys' baby pictures

I love cooking for my family

I love my mom's peanut butter pie

I love taking a nap on a rainy day

I love Samuel's smile

I love Tanner's giggle

I love Owen's spirit

I love my "me time" after the kids are in bed

I love my kitchen island that I designed and Jerry built

I love blogging

I love loving.

Dear Father-in-law, I will miss you

Husband. Father. Pappy. Not enough to describe this man.
A home, a business and many coon he once ran.
Honey, Sweet Pea, Number One Buddy. Many endearing terms.
His family was his heart and for him, they will yearn.
He was open, to say the least, what you see is what you got
Bare feet, denim bibs, no shirt............a foot propped.
He left home very young, traveled for work and to survive
But when he met his bride he knew how it felt to really be alive.
This patient, beautiful woman loved this hard headed fellow.
He was her hero and She made him glow.
One, two and three came fairly quick, then surprise! came four, then five/six!
In a small red house in the middle of the sticks.
He raised his family by the work of his hands, in his own mill
Never wanting, getting by, a strong, determined will.
Though little they had, He never turned from souls in need
An honest man in word and deed.
His Grandchildren brought deep joy, light and pride
Hugs and kisses plenty, on his knee they would ride
"Singing Pap pa’s jelly belly yes-sir-ree!"
With them He shared his love of hunting and fish
Sneaking chocolate, sips of coffee, whatever they’d wish.
Most content at home among family and friend
The conversation and laughs were without end.
His boys were his buddies. Girls, his sweethearts. His wife, his world.
Many memories he shared and stories he told.
He’s a loved man, all he ever wanted. How to be remembered.
Love that lives on, even when our grief embers.
Ornery, William Quillin, known as "Junior" to all
Has went home with his Maker upon His call.
Your absence on earth leaves a void, an empty space.
The kitchen table and in our hearts, forever your place.
Our guardian angel looking down from above
We will find peace in your legacy of love.

By Betty Quillin

Today is Bittersweet

Today I stood in my father in laws Hospice Suite and there beyond all his suffering, I saw the most heartbreaking and beautiful thing.
My Mother-in-law is an incredible, gracious, forgiving and nurturing lady. Her whole life she has never pursued monetary riches. She married when she was 17 to the man of her dreams, my husband's father. They had six children, two of which were (surprise!)twins, my husband and his brother. She is the pillar of patience. She was always a stay at home mom, the kind we all dream of being, house clean, cans all the fruits and veggies she could grow, crochets, sewed clothes for her kids and makes EVERYTHING from scratch.......but her husband was her highest priority and she was more than a helpmate. She loved, never resented, served without obligation. .........But today she is standing by his bed looking at a man, that we all love, but is unrecognizable to us. Not to her-she looks at him with a tenderness and love that I sometimes don't think I can fathom. For my kids? sure. But my husband? not always.
She knows her time with him is limited but she doesn't look at him in pity. She doesn't even have to say it, you can see it in her eyes..."this is the love of a lifetime and I'm not ready for it to end". She cries when she thinks about when he will take his last breath.
She inspires me to love her son the way she loves his father.
72 doesn't seem that old when you witness the heartbreaking beauty of a love story over 45 years in the making.

Sometimes someone else says it better

This is a second hand link, or maybe third, however you look at it.
The story of a Baptist pastor's wife who voted for Obama
So much throughout this election my democratic mind has wondered why so many think my political views don't line up with my faith. When I found this link through Jess,one wild and precious life , it gave me some confirmation.
There is so much speculation from the right...."the end is near", "antichrist"...are you kidding me? When did an African American Democrat become bible prophesy for the rapture? We have some very cynical brothers and sisters among us. Shouldn't we be the embodiment of Hope? Why do you fear hope when it comes in Democrat wrapping paper? Republican is not synonomous with Christ Follower. Being Republican is not a V.I.P pass to the Kingdom.

Religion and Politics=Bad Etiquette(sarcasm strongly applied) Please!

Do you ever feel like whatever you say about politics is wrong? I guess there is a reason people say "never discuss religion or politics". And the two at the same time? Big mistake.
I made a comment on a friends' posted item, not really offensive to anyone, or so I thought. And soon after an acquaintance of mine also commented and I'm not sure if my comment or the original post is what upset her but I felt a sick feeling in my gut. The one that says "No one agrees with you so you must be wrong" I hate second guessing myself and I won't do it now.

This is an important election. If your a Bush fan, I'm sorry for this but the past 8years have been a catastrophe! I voted for him...twice. I am a registered Republican. Because I was 18 when I filled out that card and that's what my parents are so, sounds good. What does that mean anyway? I follow Jesus, support small business, give the richest people in our country tax breaks, oppose abortion? Is that a Republican?
Are we so close minded as believers that we believe that a Democrat cannot be a Christ Follower? Sure there are some moral issues that are a little far to the left for me, but their views of "spreading the wealth" is may I dare say......biblical? Remember "to whom much is given much is expected"? Universal health care? Don't completely understand how it will affect my life, but didn't Jesus himself heal even the poor and uninsured?
Oh, I can't even discuss it anymore.
I still am undecided. That's right. Undecided. One night before the election. Undecided.